Who Was It?

I wanted to write this down while it’s fresh on my mind. Last night I had the coolest experience. I woke up and someone was standing beside my bed—someone I love a whole lot, but I don't remember who it was. When I saw this person, I was so excited, I reached behind me and tapped Bill three or four times rapidly and firmly to get him to see too. I was smiling so big that it hurt, so it must have been someone I was extremely happy to see and also someone that Bill knew too. The feeling that I had was that this person was someone he loved as well, but he only mumbled a few words and did not look up.

Immediately, whoever it was—was gone and a faint, rectangular light remained, almost as if the image was quickly peeled away from the dull scene of the side of my bed. But my big smile still remained while I studied where the light had been and tried to pull back from memory who it was. I tried for several seconds then came to the conclusion that I was not supposed to remember the person, but just the feeling and the light.

I love experiences like this, because they strengthen my conviction of life after death and that this life is but a moment in the eternities, and also, and most importantly, that the ones we love and hold close to our heart are not far from us and watch over us. One day, we'll be together again. I look forward to that time when mortality will be but a glimpse of a memory, and we are settled back into our true existence once more.

Unexplained

A little less than 1 ½ years ago, around May 2009, Bill and I were heading west on Brown, when he jumped and pointed forward. He had just seen the tail end of a collision at Brown and Val Vista. We were among the first at the intersection, and were the first in line in the far right lane. The cars involved in the accident came to a stop on the other side of Val Vista—across from us, but in the east bound lanes. Bill hopped out of our car and ran over to help, along with two or three other people. I stayed in the car and watched.

It didn’t seem like a very bad wreck from where I was sitting, and though I was concerned for the young girl behind the wheel, and her friend in the back, I wasn’t too worried. I watched as Bill stuck his head in the driver’s side window to check on her and the other girl, and then I just played the waiting game for him to return to our car. He was over there quite awhile.

Finally, he came back, and I had lots of questions. I wish I had recorded this when it happened, because too much time has elapsed for me to accurately recall all the details, but I think Bill told me that she had lost consciousness, but I’m not sure now. However, the one thing that I do remember clearly, as if it just happened yesterday—was his response when I asked how the girl was in the back seat.

He looked at me strange and said, “There wasn’t anyone in the back seat—there wasn’t anyone else in the car.”

He was adamant about it, but I so was I. I disagreed with him for a short while, but he would not relent, and neither would I.

He was over there—he stuck his head in the car, and he was there for a long while trying to help out, and I was simply sitting across the intersection, observing.

But,I truly had seen both a girl behind the wheel and a girl looking straight ahead from the back seat.

So, who did I see?

I’ve often wondered about that—wondered if she had left her own body—and wondered why I could see her, and not Bill.

Fear is a Choice

Locations: Maine, California, Ohio, Arizona
Age: High School (and older)

I truly wish not to record these, but I know I must, for they are as much a part of my life experiences as the pleasant, peaceful, and joyous ones are.

I don’t recall how or when they began, but I think I know where. My parents bought a large two-story house and moved us from the dairy farm into town. I do not have bad feelings about that house, even though very scary things happened within its walls. I will not elaborate, or embellish with lofty words, I would much rather simply record the events and get on with it. So, it suffices to say, I saw, felt, heard, and experienced the unimaginable. Steven King hasn’t written anything close to what I went through. Fourteen nights in a row, gripped by some unseen force, jaw locked in place, visual, even actual electricity pulsating from my head to frayed electrical cords hanging from my bedroom ceiling, quarter-sized indentations in my leg, horrifying sounds. Imagining the hand of God protecting me, and sleeping with a Bible by my side were my only reprieve.

Later as a freshman at USC, while waiting for friends to come back to the car, I heard the frightful wail of wild dogs growling and gnashing their teeth, first off in the distance, and then surrounding the car that I sat in. I could see nothing outside the vehicle, but could only hear the terrible sounds just outside the car window. I prayed, and the sound went away, but came back twice.

In Ohio, when I went downstairs into Bill’s parent’s family room, I saw a plant rocking rhythmically back and forth. And one evening, I saw just the head of a very frightening apparition—with wild, wicked eyes, in full horrific color, floating above me in my bed.

I’ve seen other spirits, as well. Two of the spirits were alarming, one was not, with her long gray hair, and quiet demeanor. And one was a young girl of about 10 or 12. I’ve seen her at least three times in different locations, once with a young boy, dark hair, slightly older and taller than she.

Why me? Why not everyone? Maybe I needed to experience the evil to appreciate and choose the good. Maybe I’m chosen to stand as a witness that these things do exist. Maybe I was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Or, maybe I can help someone understand that they need not fear the unknown, for that is what I have learned.

Fear is a choice.

In the premortal existence, those who chose to follow Lucifer were cast out of heaven with him, and became forever damned. Doomed to roam the earth as wicked spirits, never to receive their own body. They love nothing more than to torment us, if we give them that power, for the only way they have power is through our consent. So don't give it to them.

I am not afraid, now that I understand. They were my brothers and sisters in the premortal existence. It was their choice to follow Lucifer. I have more power than they do, because I chose to follow God.

All things have purpose.

Nothing is without a cause, and all things can be explained and understood. There is sweet and comforting peace in knowledge and faith.

For more information see http://lds.org/-ensign article- Things As They Really Are - Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Message from Beyond

Locations:
Dover-Foxcroft, Maine
Batavia, Ohio
Chicago Temple
Date: 1990-91

My brother Donnie and I were “Irish Twins”, which means that we shared the same birth age for a few days every year. When I was born, he hadn’t had his first birthday yet, and when he turned one, I was only thirty-eight days old. When I turned one, he still had thirty-eight days left until he turned two. It was fun being the same age with him for a few days each year.

I sure do miss him. He died in 1988 as a result of driving under the influence.

About a year after he died, I had an incredible experience. We were living in Maine. I had fallen asleep and in my “dream”, I opened a door and entered a pristine waiting room. Donnie entered a door from the other side of the room. He was radiant. The colors of his face; his blue eyes, and white teeth were unlike any colors that I had ever seen before—far greater augmented, and more brilliant than any earthly hues. He called me by my name, and we embraced. I can’t remember anything else, and don’t believe that I was meant to, but when I awoke I had a smile on my face that was so intense that it hurt.

Was it a dream? I don’t think so. The colors were nothing like anything I had ever experienced here in mortality, and the exquisite joy I had upon awakening needs no confirmation, nor explanation.

About a year later, we moved to Ohio. Bill’s parent’s ward was sending several of their youth ahead of the adults to the Chicago Temple to do baptisms for the dead. Jason and Mandee went with them. After they left, and had already arrived at the temple, I realized that Jason could do Donnie’s baptism, so I called the temple and requested that he be allowed to do my brother’s work. Proper protocol was to send a family group sheet along, and I hadn’t. Someone in the Chicago Temple decided to call Salt Lake—which surprised and delighted me as Jason got special permission from Salt Lake to perform Donnie’s baptism.

One of the sisters in my ward that witnessed it told me that Jason had already performed his fifteen baptisms and had redressed, but they had him change back into baptismal clothing again to participate in Donnie’s baptism. She said it was very spiritual. Jason had known Donnie all of his young life.

The next day, we arrived to do the rest of the temple ordinances, and in a special part of the temple, my brother spoke to me, just like in my dream, calling me by name. I recognized his voice instantly, and turned to see him, but could not, as I’m sure I would not have maintained the quiet reverence one ought to in a holy temple.

We are meant to live by faith, and I do, but in some things in my life, I have knowledge. I know, without a doubt for I witnessed it, that my brother Donnie was there in the temple that day, and continues to work hard on the other side of the veil in behalf of his loved ones—every one of them.

How can I question the reality of things not seen? The Lord has blessed me above measure with many peculiar experiences that testify to me of life beyond this life.

For those of you unfamiliar with the purpose for baptisms for the dead see http://lds.org/ Ensign Article, A Temple-Motivated People

Young Spirits

Locations: Maine; Arizona

The first time I saw her was in Dover-Foxcroft, Maine. She was wearing a knee length dress, and had long hair. She looked directly at me, and then turned back and passed through the upstairs hallway in front of me—not up or down the hallway, but through the walls on either side.

The second time I saw this young spirit was in Phoenix, AZ, on 29th Ave and Union Hills. It was the same thing—only the hallway was downstairs, and I stepped into the hallway, and saw her pass through the walls again.

The third time was rather interesting. Four of our closest friends, the Loves, and the Gentrys, and Bill and I, performed forty temple sealings in the Mesa Temple of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It happened to fall on Valentine’s Day—which was kind of sweet. We were in a small sealing room that had a narrow stairwell leading up to it. It was hot that day. I can’t recall if there had been a problem with the air conditioning or not, but the room was stuffy. They told us they were going to leave the door open a bit to let the air circulate, as they had had a patron faint earlier.

We took turns in the various sealings, and when it wasn’t my turn, I sat and occasional found my gaze wandering to the partially opened door. I saw a group of women walk past the door, and only saw the hems of their long white dresses, and then I saw a young girl, of about 10 or so, pass by. The curious thing is that she later passed by going back the way she came, and then passed by the door again. There was a young boy—a little taller than she was, with her one of those times. I also saw temple workers talking to each other at the foot of the stairs, and noted that I could only see the top half of them, because I was sitting down.

After the sealings, I lingered for a while, pondering the eternal nature of a temple sealing, and when I went to leave the room, I was absolutely surprised to find that there was no hallway on the top of the stairwell where I had seen the hems of the group of women pass by, and the young girl and boy. I totally expected to see a hallway cross the outside of the door where I had seen them pass, but there wasn't any, only the enclosed stairwell going down to the lower floor.

I immediately went to see the person in charge of sealings and inquired if there had been any children sealed to their parents that afternoon (live sealings.) He said no, but earlier that morning they had a Hispanic couple with children sealed. Because I could compare the women's hems, and the full length view of the two children passing by the room with the temple workers at the bottom of the stairs that I could only view from the waist or so up, I concluded that these indeed had been spirits who had witnessed their own sealings, and were most definitely, family members of mine.

Still, we sealed no children to their parents that day.

Who were those two children, and what message were they trying to send to me?

I haven't seen her since, perhaps someone else has heeded her call, but I suspect that one day, she's going to ask me why I didn't jump on it right away and search for her, so I guess, I'd better do it, just in case she's still waiting.

For those of you who are not familiar with temples and their divine purpose, visit lds.org/temples/purpose

Death Dreams

Death Dreams-Part II
Location Gilbert, Arizona
Date: June or July 2000

It was shortly after we moved back to Arizona, that I had my second death dream. The dream lasted the entire night. I dreamt that a small group of spirits were trying to reach me. They were American Indians. I purposely evaded them from dream to dream. They came to each dream I had that evening, all night long. I wasn’t afraid of them, even though I knew that they were spirits. It was as if I knew what they wanted—but didn’t want to comply. Towards the morning, I could evade them no longer, and finally allowed them to speak to me. They wanted me to return with them to the spirit world. They wanted me to sing with them in some kind of a concert. I chose not to go.

Interesting, huh? And yet, the very next night, I had an even more fascinating death dream. ...


Death Dreams-Part III
Location: Gilbert, Arizona
Date: June or July 2000

In the middle of the night I awoke and found my deceased father standing across from me, at the foot of my bed. Bill was sleeping in between us. My dad called me by my nickname, Terri. It was wonderful to hear his voice! The voices of the deceased ones that I love are the hardest part for me to recall, but I recognize them immediately. Daddy didn’t say anything else, but I knew what he wanted. He wanted me to return with him.

I said, “I will be obedient,” but then began to cry as my eyes rested on Bill. I said, “I love you,” to Bill three times, and then lay back down. I heard a soft rumbling sound, and felt a gentle swirling sensation growing in intensity surrounding my body. I knew that if I did nothing, my spirit would leave my body, so, I stopped it.

Instantly, Daddy was gone, and I was not asleep. I had nothing to wake up from, no pulling out of any sort of dream state, or dreamy awakening … I was not sleeping, so did not need to awake. I was simply there, alone with Bill sleeping by my side.

What does one do, when in an instant a pretty incredible experience ends, and you are left to ponder its meaning? Does one simply go back to sleep? Oh, no, no, no, no.

I immediately got out of bed and got on my knees. I told God that I would be obedient, if indeed he wanted me to come home that evening, then I would go, but, if I could choose, then I wanted to stay with Bill.

Then I sat down and wrote the whole experience out, and a message to each one of my children (just in case … ) It is hand-written on a piece of yellow cardstock, and filed in a white cabinet under my desk in my bedroom.

I am not afraid of death. It holds little mystery, but all wonder to me. I imagine when I do leave this existence, it will be quite like the dreams I’ve had, but only better.

However, if Bill should ever leave mortality before me, and then come for me—there is nothing on this earth that would keep me from leaping into his arms. Until then, I’d like to stay just a little longer, and try a little harder to be a little better, and I’ll keep on asking, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the Lord’s will for me.

Death Dreams Part I

Location: Batavia Ohio
Date: 1999

Have you ever had a dream that you died? I had three of them within six months, two of them back-to-back, two nights in a row. My first death dream happened the last year that we lived in Ohio.

I dreamt that I had died. I could not remember how, but knew that it had just happened. In my dream, my deceased family came to see me. There was a large group of them. My brother Donnie was not there, but I was told that he was busily engaged and would come to see me as soon as he was finished with what he was doing.

In the next part of my dream, I was in a dormitory-like room with a woman named Linda, who was also recently dead. She was tall and had short blond hair, but was not anyone familiar to me. We gathered our stuff together and began to walk towards a large building along with other spirits.
.
I remember seeing the building off in the distance. I remember green grass to the right of the sidewalk that we walked on. We got about half way there when we remembered we had left something in the dormitory. It was an iron of sorts. I can’t explain it, because I don’t understand it. It was very unusual in a futuristic sort of way. How difficult it is for any time-trapped mortal to explain an object of eternity.

We paused for a moment as we discussed going back to get the iron. I did not want to go, but Linda did. I watched her walk back towards the dormitory, and even turned from her and took a few steps towards the building. I began to feel a little guilty for not going with her, so I turned around and started to follow her. After a few steps, I stopped, and this thought came to me, “Wait! I’m dead! Why am I walking?” So, I simply thought about where I wanted to go, and instantly was there.

It must have been a dream, because here I am today, but what a fascinating dream it was! To dream—so clearly of the moments following death, greeting my family, anticipating seeing my brother Donnie as soon as he was able, having a recently dead roommate, preparing to go to some important meeting, and transporting myself back to the dormitory rather than using any snail-pace mortal means, what great fun!

What a grand adventure this mortal life has been. For a short moment in time, I am limited in my eternal, god-like abilities in order to glean as much as possible from this human-like experience. We are all gods in embryo, not unlike our creator, but created in His literal image. Young gods yet in infancy…